Unsaid Things
by Funkyicecube
Summary: I don't care about what happens to me anymore. I don't care if I lose my contract. I don't care if I never sing again. I just want him back.
1. Screaming the secrets we share

NEW FIC! YEY!

Okay, this is **not **a sequel to Reckoning. I would write them but I have no ideas. So if you have one please e-mail me!

Anyway, this is set after 'Date with the Night'.

Just to let you know I haven't seen it yet (I've only just watched Hallelujah, Problem Child is on tonight!) so I'm going by what other people have told me.

Please review.

Alexz

* * *

If anyone passed me right now they'd think 'Oh look, a normal girl living a normal life'. 

God, how wrong that statement would be.

I mean, my life hasn't been normal for a good year now, maybe even two.

And things have just got a whole lot worse.

He left last night.

He left me.

And things will never be the same again.

He left without saying goodbye.

Why?

Why did he leave?

I have so many questions to ask him.

I want to know why he left me, why he broke my heart and if he's ever coming back.

The pain I feel right now hurts so much.

I try to act strong, but on the inside I'm breaking up. And people can see that.

They can tell.

My sister, my friends, my Mom, my Dad...

...even my dog can tell that inside I'm just not me.

It's like Lyra from the book 'Northern Lights'. Her dæmon is part of her. In other words, I'm Lyra and he is my dæmon.

I haven't been focused lately.

I can't focus on my work, I can't focus on anything but him.

I can't eat or sleep, knowing that he is out there somewhere, somewhere far away from me.

What's wrong with me?

I asked him this once, on my sweet sixteenth. However it wasn't sweet. It was a disaster.

I asked him to tell me what I did wrong, so that I could fix it.

He just told me I was asking the wrong guy.

Then he kissed me.

It was the best kiss of my life.

But he told me to forget it.

Since then I've been scared.

Scared that he will 'love' me, then push me away.

Now he is all I want, more than anything.

I want him back with me.

I want him back to make music with me, he makes my songs good – without him they are nothing.

I want him back to be with him.

I want him back to be with him.

I just want him here.

I would give anything to have him back; back in my life; back with me.

Without him I feel so alone, so empty.

It feels like when he left, he took my happiness with him.

I haven't smiled or laughed for twenty-four hours. And I don't think I will until he returns.

I just want everything back to the way it was.

He would be sat in the studio, a coffee next to him, occupied with his work. God how I wish he was there now.

But he isn't.

I hate him for leaving, but I love him.

I left him hundreds of messages on his cell telling him this.

But I got no reply.

What if he never comes back?

What if he forgets me?

I don't care about what happens to me anymore.

I don't care if I lose my contract.

I don't care if I never sing again.

I just want him back.

It's not the same without him.

Everyone is depressed. I'm depressed.

I keep expecting him to show up in the doorway.

I keep expecting this to be a horrible nightmare.

If only it was.

If only he knew the pain I'm feeling now.

Now that he's gone.


	2. Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?

HI! Sorry it's taken me so long, but I've seen Date with the night! It rocked. Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed.

Here's chapter 2!

Oh yeah,

I don't own (you know the rest)

Please review

Alexz

* * *

I walked through G-Major, trying to seem happy. Though everyone knew that I wasn't. Inside I was nothing.

My heart was broken and everyone could see it.

Making my way into the studio, I flopped down on the couch and bent down, staring at my feet.

Before I knew it I was crying.

Why did he go?

If only I knew where he was, that would make me feel slightly better.

Kwest saw me crying and came in, wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

"Kwest, why did he leave?"

But Tommy hadn't even told his best friend.

That night I couldn't sleep.

So I wrote a song instead.

The next morning I walked into the studio, my eyes heavy.

Walking up to Kwest I asked him if we could record.

"Furtive lies and insinuation  
All designed to tarnish my reputation  
And devised by you without explanation  
Tell me why, why you spreading all these lies

I try hard to end all this chaos  
But when you disparage me you betray us  
Said we'd be friends until the end and now I'm crushed  
Tell me why, why you feel the need to lie

Baby lies,  
They poison everything in sight,  
Those who lie,  
Can never keep track or take them back.  
Baby lies,  
Keep messin' with your sleep at night  
You never can disguise,  
Transparent lies

What you said continue to taunt me  
And the way you used to wander love well it haunts me  
Baby open your eyes and maybe you'll see  
Your heart cries, listen and apologize

Baby lies,  
They poison everything in sight,  
Those who lie,  
Can never keep track or take them back.  
Baby lies,  
Keep messin' with your sleep at night  
You never can disguise,  
Transparent lies

I got a story you wanna tell,  
About a girl who loved a guy more than life itself!  
But he got overwhelmed, undermined himself  
Telling lies, fragment lies

Lies  
Baby lies,  
Transparent lies  
Lies, lies, lies, lies,  
Why you gotta lie  
Lies"

As soon as I finished I left.

Getting into my Mustang, I drove to Tommy's apartment.

Letting myself in using the spare key that he keeps under a loose brick, I began searching for something that would tell me where he had gone.

That's when my cell phone rang.

I looked at the id.

It was Tommy.

My heart started to beat faster and anger flooded through me.

How dare he call.

How dare he call me after breaking my heart.

How dare he call me after leaving me.

"Hey Jude."

WHAT!

He leaves me, says that he may never be coming back, and then calls and says 'Hey Jude'. The nerve of him.

"WHAT THE HELL QUINCY! YOU LEAVE ME AND THEN CALL AND ACT ALL INNOCENT!"

"Jude please just listen…"

I'm not gonna let him reason with me. He broke my heart so he will pay.

"NO. YOU LISTEN QUINCY. YOU BROKE MY HEART. YOU WOULDN'T RETURN ANY OF MY CALLS. YOU JUST LEFT. AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MESS I'M IN RIGHT NOW. IT'S SO BAD I MIGHT LOSE MY CONTRACT. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU."

I hung up on him.

That's when I realized how stupid I had been.

That may have been the last time I ever spoke to Tommy.

I'm an idiot!

I hate myself.

I started to cry.

God I've been doing that a lot lately.

I sat in the dark for the next few hours.

I heard the door open and someone walked in, flicking on the lights.

At this point I was lying on the floor, my eyes closed.

The person sat down next to me.

"Jude? Are you okay?"

It was Mason.

Okay, now seems like the perfect time to say how great Mason is. He rocks. He is always there for me. As well as that, we have so much in common. For example; I like guys and he likes guys (Did I mention he's gay?) and I love making music and he loves making music.

When I went to see him after Tommy had left, he let me stay in his hotel room and he helped me with my hangover the next morning. I love him, he's awesome. Seriously if he wasn't gay, I would date him.

Sitting up, I lent against him. The floodgates opened and he put his arms around me.

"Jude, don't cry. Things will get better; Tommy will call."

"He did." I whispered.

"What? Did he say anything about where he is?"

I sighed and laid down again, my head on Mason's lap and looking up at him, I told him what had happened.

After I finished there was silence.

I started thinking about the last few days.

_I have to leave. I'm sorry. I don't think I'll be coming back._

_What are the symptoms of a nervous breakdown? 'Cause Tommy's disappeared and I don't know what to do._

_I want to runaway and live in Mason's guitar case._

"Jude?"

Mason's voice brought me back to the present.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

I nodded.

"I will be if…"

He looked at me.

"If what?"

I smiled a small smile.

"If I can wear your cowboy hat."

It's stupid, I know. But I was feeling lousy and felt like I needed to do something stupid to make me feel slightly better.

Smiling, Mason took off his cowboy hat and placed it on my head.

When he drove me home (I was too worked up and upset to drive my own car) we were silent.

As I got out, I started to take off the hat, but Mason told me to keep it.

Have I said how awesome Mason is?

Looking at my watch, I saw it was almost midnight.

Good. Dad and Sadie should be asleep.

Walking into the kitchen I saw a brown envelope with my name written on it, lying on the table.

At first I thought it was from that guy again – the one who took photos of me drunk and threatened to sell them to the press.

But it wasn't.

I'd know that handwriting anywhere.

It was from Tommy.


	3. How many til I'm in your arms

**I'm sorry it's been such a long time since my last update, but I had a serious case of writers block! Anyway, here it is!**

**Please review!**

**Alexz**

I ripped open the envelope and tipped it's contents onto the table.

There was a folded piece of paper with my name written on it, a CD and a small box.

I unfolded the paper.

It was a letter.

_'Jude,_

_I know you probably hate me right now but I need to explain._

_By now you've most likely thrown this in the trash. But anyways, I had to leave Jude. I had no choice. Jude, my sister is dead. She has a daughter. I have to sort out where she'll stay and who she'll stay with. _

_I promise that i'll be back. _

_I'll call, write and email when I can. I promise. _

_Please Jude, forgive me. _

_I've started working on my solo album Jude, like you told me too. _

_On the CD is the first song. Please listen to it. It's dedicated to you._

_I love you Jude._

_Don't forget that._

_Tommy.' _

His letter had me in tears.

And it made me feel worse about shouting at him. His sister's dead and here I was shouting at him.

Putting the CD into my walkman, I listened.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad.

Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid.

You were made to go out and get her.

The minute you let her under your skin,

Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.

For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

Hey Jude, don't let me down.

You have found her, now go and get her.

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,

You're waiting for someone to perform with.

And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do,

The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey Jude, don't make it bad.

Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her under your skin,

Then you'll begin to make it better"

It made me smile. I loved it.

Opening the small box, I looked inside.

There was a silver bracelet, and engraved on it was: 'My Instant Star, I love you Jude Tommy.'

Just like that, I was crying again.

I put the bracelet on and picked up the phone.

Dialling his cell number, I waited while it rang.

1 ring,

2 rings,

3 rings…

…"Hello?"

I was nervous.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Tommy, it's me…"

My voice faded away.

"Jude?"

"Yeah, I… I got your letter. And… I'm so sorry for shouting at you Tommy."

The last part came out in one huge rush.

"Don't worry girl. So, did you get the package I sent you?"

"Yeah. Thanks. The song was amazing, the letter explained everything, and the bracelet…wow. And Tom? I have one question for you."

"What is it?" He was nervous.

Well that makes two of us.

Okay, I'm just gonna ask him.

"At the end of your letter you wrote: 'I love you Jude.' Did you mean it?"


	4. I'm just a smiling face

**I am really proud of myself! I mean, I only posted my last chapter yesterday! And here I am the next day with a new chapter! Thank you everyone who reviewed!**

**Please review this!**

**Alexz**

I waited nervously for his answer. Does he really love me or did he just write it to make me feel better?

"Jude I..." here it comes. "I love you."

Oh my god! Did he just say what I think he said?

"You, you meant it?" I whispered into the phone.

"Of course I did girl."

My hands were shaking. My heart was thumping. My mind was racing. Tommy just said that he loved me.

"Look, Jude, I have to go."

I felt panic rush through me.

"No! Tommy, don't go!"

I heard him laugh a small laugh.

"Don't worry girl. I'll call you tomorrow, I promise."

Relief washed over me.

"Tommy, before you go, I just want to say one thing."

"What is it?"

Okay, I've waited ages to say this to him. And this is it. Deep breath and...

"I love you Tommy."

God that felt good!

"I love you too. I'll call tomorrow. I promise."

Will he keep his promise this time? I hope to god that he does.

"Bye Tommy."

"Bye Jude."  
I knew I wasn't gonna be able to sleep tonight so I sat on my bed listening to Tommy's version of 'Hey Jude'.

The next morning I waited for his call.

I couldn't eat breakfast. I couldn't do anything but sit by the phone.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, it rang.

I quickly answered it.

"Hey Jude." He sang.

"Hi Tommy!"

"So let me guess. You've been sat by the phone all morning."

Just because I did doesn't mean I'm gonna tell him that!

"Umm... no!"

"Jude, you are such a bad liar!"

Yeah, but I can't help that can I!

"Anyway, Tommy, when are you coming back? I've got a really bad problem and I need you."

"What is it?"  
I sighed.

"The night of my release party I went to see Mason in Berry and there was a fan. He started buying me drinks and by the end of the night I was totally wasted. Mason told me to go up to his room but the fan followed me. He took photos of me drunk and passed out..." my voice cracked. "...but they got worse. I got copies of them in the mail, and a letter from him saying that if I don't pay $50,000 then he'll send them to the press."

I could tell that he was shocked. I felt the tears roll down my face.

"What do I do Tommy? I can't find $50,000. And he could ruin my career if I don't pay him."

"Jude, I'll be back, as soon as I can. I won't be here much longer and I'll come back and I won't leave you again."

That's when I realized that I don't know where Tommy is.

"Tommy? Where are you exactly?"

"I'm in Montana."


End file.
